How Do You Approach Life?
There’s a famous saying that people are either radiators or drains—that is, they either uplift or deplete the energy around them. And the truth is, we can all be both at different times. I know I’ve certainly not always been at my best. But what matters is that this is a real choice—how we approach life and our connections with people is up to us. It’s a fundamental truth that Wing Tsun teaches—as hard as it may be, no one else can make that decision for us.
When we understand that, the question that Wing Tsun then poses becomes: how conscious are you about taking responsibility for your energy?Aand how you manage it?
Do You Build Yourself or Seek to Destroy Others?
Building on this mentality, there’s another way I’ve seen this play out in life—do you aspire to something and rise to achieve it, or do you feel the need to pull others down because you believe you don’t have it? Broadly, people tend to fall into one of these two camps.
It’s worth taking a moment to reflect on this, because if you’re not leading with the more positive approach (which is all too easy), then now is the time to honestly question it.
Now, I’m not coming from a place of ‘holier than thou.’ Anything I talk about, I’ve seen, and I’ve certainly had many, many moments of not being at my best. In fact, there is not one of these challenges that I talk about that I’ve not failed at. But I will say this—my approach has never been to believe that for me to succeed, someone else must fail. If there’s something I want in life, I don’t think, “Why has that person got it?” Instead, I think, “That’s really great—how can I get something similar for me? And, ideally, how can I improve it?”
Because here’s the truth: jealousy and envy don’t take anything from the other person. They only drain you. Energy spent on resenting someone else is energy you could have used to create something for yourself.
It’s a simple switch from jealousy and envy to curiosity and inspiration. And it’s this type of thinking that led myself and my students to set numerous records when teaching—it was aspiration to do more and be more. It’s also the switch from wanting to control others to focusing on what you do. A significant mental release when you make it.
If you think about martial arts purely from a survival frame of mind, then focusing on the negative result for another is the likely outcome—a binary choice between you and someone else. But as you progress through the martial arts, the aim is for you to be able to elevate beyond that—after all, are you truly living if your focus is on bringing others down?
At the very least, taking the positive approach makes you more likely to create success—with the bonus that you alchemise your internal insecurity into external action.
Like many things in Wing Tsun, it is not easy to do this. But it is simple. And it is in your power.
Winning Isn’t a Zero-Sum Game—It’s a Way of Living
One counterargument to the Wing Tsun viewpoint is that success is competitive, that in order for one person to win, another must lose. In certain contexts—sports, business, politics—there are clear winners and losers.
But is that your only definition of winning? Focusing purely on the external event? The fundamental principle that Wing Tsun takes, and one I’ve seen in the highest levels of business and life, is that winning isn’t an event—it’s a way of being.
This is very similar to the philosophy of Coach John Wooden. Winning isn’t about an external result; it’s about how you approach every moment. If you define winning only by an outcome—by beating someone, by reaching a milestone—you’re constantly chasing something outside yourself. But if winning is embedded in everything you do—how you train, how you communicate, how you carry yourself—you don’t need to chase results. They start to happen naturally.
As you will see in our book Winning Not Fighting, Wing Tsun defines winning through three core principles:
Being yourself – Living with integrity, aligned to your values and your purpose.
Being present – Fully engaged in the moment, not lost in outcome-driven thinking.
Longevity – Making choices that sustain growth, rather than short-term wins that lead to burnout or instability.
If you take longevity as an aspect of winning, which Wing Tsun does very deeply, the entire mindset shifts. Winning isn’t about defeating others—it’s about sustaining and improving yourself.
Because here’s the reality: bringing others down doesn’t make you stronger—it only reinforces your own sense of inadequacy. It doesn’t spark a positive change in others, nor does it create lasting success.
Yes, negativity can fuel action in the short term. Some people thrive off resentment, competition, or proving others wrong. But in the long run, growth is hard to sustain from a negative space. And is that the legacy you want to leave in this all-too-brief existence?
Because negativity burns fast, but it doesn’t burn clean. It’s like cheap fuel—it gives a quick burst of power, but in the long run, it leaves behind toxic waste that poisons you.
If your motivation is rooted in tearing others down, what happens when there’s no one left to fight? What happens when the external enemy is gone, and you’re left with just yourself?
Many businesses have struggled when they made their purpose purely about beating another business. Because what happens when they win? Without a bigger mission, without a why beyond competition, they stagnate—or collapse. The strongest businesses—and people—play a different game. They don’t just chase external success; they believe in something more.
For Wing Tsun the truth is, real winning isn’t about comparison—it’s about elevation. And you cannot elevate from a place of destruction.
The Challenge of Facing the Truth
The reality is that many people don’t want to see the truth about themselves. Wing Tsun doesn’t force you to, but it gives you the opportunity. And in many ways, understanding ourselves is the final taboo—because it’s far easier to distract ourselves, blame others, or chase external validation than to look inward and ask the hardest question of all: Who am I, really?
We have so many preconceived ideas. So much conditioning from culture, from society, that we often don’t even stop to ask:
Why am I doing what I’m doing?
Is it how I want to do it?
Is it actually getting me the results I want?
Transforming Your Negative Energy
With all the above being said, the power is in the choices and actions we make. We all experience frustration, anger, and negativity at times. The point isn’t to deny or suppress these emotions—it’s about what you do with them.
There are two key elements here:
Recognising it – Acknowledging when we are in a negative framework, rather than running on autopilot.
Taking constructive action – Using that energy to move forward, rather than letting it consume or destroy us.
My friend and positive psychology expert, Steve Head, talks about this in terms of crossing the line. The shift from destructive to constructive is a choice, and one that defines how we navigate life’s challenges.
So the final question is—when you are faced with a challenge that life will inevitably give you, how will you approach it? And what is the energy that you project?
Sifu